Life continues to be really tough at the moment, my anxiety is extremely disabling and procrastination and fear continues to rule me a lot of the time. I wonder about this blog being so negative that no one will want to read it, be near me, like me...that kind of thing. I have a number of friends who are being positive at the moment but having met them when they were struggling I have found their encouragement instructive in taking the chance on the blog world again.
So-I have been cycling quite a bit lately, I’ve blogged about it before, but at the moment having the bike outside the house has been an encouragement much needed to hit those destinations where people and places that offer some familiarity and succour are a 15-20 minutes physical workout away. One such place this weekend was the start point for the monthly bike ride I have been going on for the last five years or so called Critical Mass. It was to be the tenth anniversary ride so should have been a cause of celebration. I don’t think I was the only regular at these meet-ups who had a heavy heart at the thought of this anniversary as the vibe on the ride and the numbers attending has been un inspiring of late, more a Critical Miss than Mass. Attempts to engender enthusiasm seems to have been in vain of late, yet the whole shebang of the Critical mass for me has encompassed a resurgence in my mental health, making friends despite my reduced abilities, it would be doubly sad for this monthly event to draw to a close when so many other parts of my life present this way. Over the years these rides have given me the chance to observe a changing city centre, make new friends and ending up with a musical social event at the end of the evening, all of which have been positives.
When arriving I was immediately greeted by a few of the more positive of our lot, I was late for the 6.30 start time, but with an warm enough night and an upturned bike being worked on it didn’t matter a jot, The music was banging out from the pull-along boom box that we have and when the group of nine cyclists eventually set off it was something after seven, the streets were pretty full and pedestrians seemed curious and engaged with our performance. Ten minutes into the ride our numbers had pretty well doubled as a group of teenagers had joined us, leaving their pitch outside Macci’s to cycle with us. They were full of tricks and wheelies which again drew attention to the ride, challenging the motorists cheekily at times but they seemed nice lads and responsive to being reined in when asked nicely. At one point we were being trailed by a flash motorist, 30’s, salon car probably £30k plus. I was at the back with another of the maturer cyclists so listened in when he wound down the window to tell us ‘this is not normal’ he sounded like an Arni Swartsenigger robot character
By about quarter to eight we had reached the waterfront area near the Three Graces, it was a still night so was a pleasant place to relax and zip about on the bike, chat a bit, go exploring at some of the historical plaques commemorating the naval sacrifices made over the last 150 years. When we returned to the Mass ride we again found positive reactions from passers-by, smiles, waves, dance moves, selfies etc. The young lads had headed of f elsewhere but collectively I felt our small group felt strong and buoyed by the ride. My trips into the city centre are few and far between, more so of late and the sights of so many people living on the streets is something i never fail to find really upsetting. We generally get a good response from these guys, smiles, thumbs ups, a bit of groove sometimes in tune with the music- poignant moments.
We made it back to our rendevouz at the Caledonia pub and sat outside with the boom box playing we relaxed. The casing of the boombox doubled as a picnic table/bar area and we had a bit of a bing an share thing going on. A couple passed with a box of sushi they were looking to re-distribute, greatfully accepted by us guys-nobody thought to check the sell-by dates! By the time I cycled home I had had a chance to listen to some lovely trad jazz played by a septuagenarian + gang of performers called the Dixieland Jazz band who rocked away into the night on the Cali stage , their regular followers doing some nice moves on the dancefloor. Check out a vid about some of there efforts over the years to overcome challenges-lovely I also managed a catch up with a number of friends and acquaintances that helped lift my spirits.
All in all a good night, all the more appreciated for its rarity. I am far too busy searching for answers from the security of my miniscule world when getting out there introduces me to lots of other examples of the various ways of that other people are getting by, some more inspiring than others but all giving food for thought. One thought i need to act on is get a new basket for Betty to join in the fun as the last bike I had with the basket got stolen last year.
So-I have been cycling quite a bit lately, I’ve blogged about it before, but at the moment having the bike outside the house has been an encouragement much needed to hit those destinations where people and places that offer some familiarity and succour are a 15-20 minutes physical workout away. One such place this weekend was the start point for the monthly bike ride I have been going on for the last five years or so called Critical Mass. It was to be the tenth anniversary ride so should have been a cause of celebration. I don’t think I was the only regular at these meet-ups who had a heavy heart at the thought of this anniversary as the vibe on the ride and the numbers attending has been un inspiring of late, more a Critical Miss than Mass. Attempts to engender enthusiasm seems to have been in vain of late, yet the whole shebang of the Critical mass for me has encompassed a resurgence in my mental health, making friends despite my reduced abilities, it would be doubly sad for this monthly event to draw to a close when so many other parts of my life present this way. Over the years these rides have given me the chance to observe a changing city centre, make new friends and ending up with a musical social event at the end of the evening, all of which have been positives.
When arriving I was immediately greeted by a few of the more positive of our lot, I was late for the 6.30 start time, but with an warm enough night and an upturned bike being worked on it didn’t matter a jot, The music was banging out from the pull-along boom box that we have and when the group of nine cyclists eventually set off it was something after seven, the streets were pretty full and pedestrians seemed curious and engaged with our performance. Ten minutes into the ride our numbers had pretty well doubled as a group of teenagers had joined us, leaving their pitch outside Macci’s to cycle with us. They were full of tricks and wheelies which again drew attention to the ride, challenging the motorists cheekily at times but they seemed nice lads and responsive to being reined in when asked nicely. At one point we were being trailed by a flash motorist, 30’s, salon car probably £30k plus. I was at the back with another of the maturer cyclists so listened in when he wound down the window to tell us ‘this is not normal’ he sounded like an Arni Swartsenigger robot character
By about quarter to eight we had reached the waterfront area near the Three Graces, it was a still night so was a pleasant place to relax and zip about on the bike, chat a bit, go exploring at some of the historical plaques commemorating the naval sacrifices made over the last 150 years. When we returned to the Mass ride we again found positive reactions from passers-by, smiles, waves, dance moves, selfies etc. The young lads had headed of f elsewhere but collectively I felt our small group felt strong and buoyed by the ride. My trips into the city centre are few and far between, more so of late and the sights of so many people living on the streets is something i never fail to find really upsetting. We generally get a good response from these guys, smiles, thumbs ups, a bit of groove sometimes in tune with the music- poignant moments.
We made it back to our rendevouz at the Caledonia pub and sat outside with the boom box playing we relaxed. The casing of the boombox doubled as a picnic table/bar area and we had a bit of a bing an share thing going on. A couple passed with a box of sushi they were looking to re-distribute, greatfully accepted by us guys-nobody thought to check the sell-by dates! By the time I cycled home I had had a chance to listen to some lovely trad jazz played by a septuagenarian + gang of performers called the Dixieland Jazz band who rocked away into the night on the Cali stage , their regular followers doing some nice moves on the dancefloor. Check out a vid about some of there efforts over the years to overcome challenges-lovely I also managed a catch up with a number of friends and acquaintances that helped lift my spirits.
All in all a good night, all the more appreciated for its rarity. I am far too busy searching for answers from the security of my miniscule world when getting out there introduces me to lots of other examples of the various ways of that other people are getting by, some more inspiring than others but all giving food for thought. One thought i need to act on is get a new basket for Betty to join in the fun as the last bike I had with the basket got stolen last year.