This time of year offers a lot of down-time; consuming food, films-all very sedentary stuff and likely to bring my mood down. I had a look in the Christmas Radio Times-£4.50! Very few offerings that appeal , I must be a right Grinch! What I have enjoyed though; on radio 4 Extra; they had some Christmas Ghost Stories from different eras, also Alan Bennett’s take on life I like via his diaries and his film ‘The Lady and the Van’. I’ve discovered that the Christmas ghost story was/is a traditional way of passing the long dark nights, that mary Shellys gothic tale Frankinstein began in this way. The contents of my blog this week seems to be collecting up dark happenings too. I have suicide on the brain!
One thing that prompted this was the training that I was part of delivering at Liverpool John Moore’s University a week or so ago that I mentioned previously. Well it generally went well I thought. One worry that I had was speaking to a large group of people-60+, in actual fact the majority of students didn’t show so we had a more intimate experience with the ten that turned up...students hey! We asked the students a series of questions with their eyes closed, raising their hands for yes, one was about suicide; “has anyone close to you committed suicide?”. Nearly all the students raised their hands.
Another push towards me thinking about the subject was a death in my local park last month. Accounts of what happened were/are unclear but to me it seems that suicide is the most likely reason for the death. The telling of this account has taken some bizarre routes. I first heard about it anecdotally at the Park Cafe-here there were two bodies, found at separate locations in the park, one had been hanging for several weeks in an overgrown part of the park-there’s a plot line for a Christmas chiller. The latest version is still pretty gruesome though; the young man in question- who lives in the next road to me had hung himself in the park after previously going missing for two weeks. There had been posters up around the neighbourhood asking for help finding him for several weeks, its all really sad.
I have a personal interest in suicide, I have considered it at times and am now curious about the subject and ok about talking about it. It was not always so and my dark thoughts about my worthiness to continue in this world was so often kept to myself. Previously I wouldn’t have come home from the park after hearing strange conflicting stories as above and searched our some sort of truth via media reports on-line. I would have buried the story amid distraction and other business and made no mention of it to anyone. Accessing mental health services in recent years I have learnt quite a bit this common thread of keeping quiet about suicidal thoughts, a very common occurrence. I have also learnt about the power of stating that you had suicidal thoughts in accessing services. I once said to a locum GP that I had thought about it which prompted a referral to a Crisis Team worker who phoned me at home asking how I was. I said I was feeling a lot better. I have since learned that the rationing of services by the medics uses this question as a trigger to offer or not additional support. Outside of the professional arena i have been able to open up about my own dark thoughts with friends and acquaintances and had some fascinating conversations on the subject, most enlightening for all concerned. Although to date I have not had any close friends who have taken their own life I do worry about some of them when I haven’t heard from them for a while. Fingers crossed my run of luck continues.
Suicide statistics indicate a sharp rise in frequency, men are more than three times more likely to choose this path than women. We all know women are better at talking about stuff but organisations like CALM are doing their best to explode some of the male bravado that feeds this state of affairs. National treasure Alan dropped in an anecdote about his unemployed uncle in the 1930’s who took his own life, a seamlessly made comment on how economic hardships can exacerbate the problems of finding a reason to go on through tough times.It’s one of the reasons I love his writing, for telling family stories warts and all, for all his professed awkwardness he frequently enlightens subjects that are shrouded in darkness.
So to the end of my seasonal offering, I hope that my efforts at honesty has helped and sprinkled a bit of light over a really important subject...roll on 2017 hey!
One thing that prompted this was the training that I was part of delivering at Liverpool John Moore’s University a week or so ago that I mentioned previously. Well it generally went well I thought. One worry that I had was speaking to a large group of people-60+, in actual fact the majority of students didn’t show so we had a more intimate experience with the ten that turned up...students hey! We asked the students a series of questions with their eyes closed, raising their hands for yes, one was about suicide; “has anyone close to you committed suicide?”. Nearly all the students raised their hands.
Another push towards me thinking about the subject was a death in my local park last month. Accounts of what happened were/are unclear but to me it seems that suicide is the most likely reason for the death. The telling of this account has taken some bizarre routes. I first heard about it anecdotally at the Park Cafe-here there were two bodies, found at separate locations in the park, one had been hanging for several weeks in an overgrown part of the park-there’s a plot line for a Christmas chiller. The latest version is still pretty gruesome though; the young man in question- who lives in the next road to me had hung himself in the park after previously going missing for two weeks. There had been posters up around the neighbourhood asking for help finding him for several weeks, its all really sad.
I have a personal interest in suicide, I have considered it at times and am now curious about the subject and ok about talking about it. It was not always so and my dark thoughts about my worthiness to continue in this world was so often kept to myself. Previously I wouldn’t have come home from the park after hearing strange conflicting stories as above and searched our some sort of truth via media reports on-line. I would have buried the story amid distraction and other business and made no mention of it to anyone. Accessing mental health services in recent years I have learnt quite a bit this common thread of keeping quiet about suicidal thoughts, a very common occurrence. I have also learnt about the power of stating that you had suicidal thoughts in accessing services. I once said to a locum GP that I had thought about it which prompted a referral to a Crisis Team worker who phoned me at home asking how I was. I said I was feeling a lot better. I have since learned that the rationing of services by the medics uses this question as a trigger to offer or not additional support. Outside of the professional arena i have been able to open up about my own dark thoughts with friends and acquaintances and had some fascinating conversations on the subject, most enlightening for all concerned. Although to date I have not had any close friends who have taken their own life I do worry about some of them when I haven’t heard from them for a while. Fingers crossed my run of luck continues.
Suicide statistics indicate a sharp rise in frequency, men are more than three times more likely to choose this path than women. We all know women are better at talking about stuff but organisations like CALM are doing their best to explode some of the male bravado that feeds this state of affairs. National treasure Alan dropped in an anecdote about his unemployed uncle in the 1930’s who took his own life, a seamlessly made comment on how economic hardships can exacerbate the problems of finding a reason to go on through tough times.It’s one of the reasons I love his writing, for telling family stories warts and all, for all his professed awkwardness he frequently enlightens subjects that are shrouded in darkness.
So to the end of my seasonal offering, I hope that my efforts at honesty has helped and sprinkled a bit of light over a really important subject...roll on 2017 hey!